After-Sex Emotions: Why Men and Women Cry

Sex and a Few Things You Should Know About It

While sex has been proven to have a lot of body benefits like reduction in pain, strengthening of the immune system, and makes it easier for you to sleep, it can also lead to an unexpected turn of events. After sex, you might find yourself feeling like sad and emotional possibly to the point of crying. This sad and emotional state is known as Post-Coital Dysphoria (PCD).

“…an experience of negative feelings after an otherwise satisfactory sexual experience.”

Post-coital dysphoria is the experience of negative feelings after an otherwise satisfactory sexual experience. The gust of emotion can occur for as little as a few minutes or more than two hours long…and contrary to popular opinions, it is not limited to the female gender. Yes, you heard me right. Men also experience post-coital dysphoria.

Women have traditionally been labeled the emotionally-dependent and insecure ones in relationships but studies have proven that assertion to be wrong because it revealed that women are not the only ones that experience PCD after sex and that men are prone to experiencing post-sex depression as women are.  

It should, however, be noted that it is not uncommon for people to be emotional or feel a wave of sadness immediately after sex despite the immense pleasure that usually accompanies an explosive orgasm.

A lot of people assume there is always normalcy in the bedroom but the possibility of an array of responses in the period immediately after consensual sexual activities has largely been overlooked. Robert Schweitzer, a professor at QUT calls this period of time, the resolution phase.

While researchers are yet to prove what exactly causes PCD, past researches have shown that half of the women have at some point in their life displayed signs of PCD. Research further claims that some women are repeat offenders. Modern studies, however, have provided evidence that shows that men also experience PCD.

Sex-related Mistakes People Make

April Masini, a relationship expert opined that people experience post-coital dysphoria because they feel their relationship may only be sexual in nature and they wanted more. They try to leverage sex into love and they end up misreading the post-coital gestures of their partners. They end up longing for the ‘I love you,’ and the ‘I want to see you tonight,’ which leaves them shattered when it not uttered by their partners. 

“…a lack of orgasm”

Sex psychologist, Nicole Prause, believes, however, that low testosterone levels coupled with a lack of orgasm are responsible for PCD. In most cases, communication after sex is non-existent and this could lead to a sense of loss of self-worth in vulnerable individuals.

However, Masini advises that people shouldn’t make too much out of their partner’s actions because everyone reacts differently to sex. A partner might be occupied with the thoughts of marriage immediately after a mind-blowing sexual experience while this action is misread by a partner as a lack of affection of feelings for the relationship. In summary, she advises against making assumptions.

How to Handle Post-Coital Dysphoria

• Develop a healthy after-sex ritual: The dominant partner, in this case, offers gentleness, affection, and support.
• Track your experiences: Try as much as possible to find and avoid PCD-related patterns in your sexual relationships.
• Communicate with your partner: If you know PCD is a common occurrence for you or your partner, communicating with and keeping your partner in the loop about what is going on in your life will help ease unnecessary tensions.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help: If you are too ashamed to talk to your partner about whatever might be going on, seeking out a trusted friend or therapist might help you through this phase.
• Be gentle with yourself: Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel after sex. Hopefully, your partner with time gets used to it. You can even try writing them down to help you put things in perspective.